Fallen
by Lady The Warrior
Summary: right after angel's falling in last episode of season 8 supernatural, the events goes on to follow of story of a fallen angel, who's trying to help her kind but first of all she have to get some help from our heroes... please R


**+" hear whispered dreams of the fallen" so I was listening to this song by "Eternal tears of sorrow" and I was like oh yeah so how about an angel story... I mean u guys do know that after what happened in the last episode of season 8 supernatural, angel's falling and all so I thought that I make a story out of it of an angel who thinks that she can fix everything but... but you have to read this story to figure it out oh and please please review, I update soon I promise and... uh sorry about grammar problems, english is not my first language but I'll manage :)**

Fallen- part 1

It was a normal day and then… everything blanked out and the last thing I remember is that… I was falling.

Even trying to remember the exact detail of it is hard. My heart is still beating like a drum and I still feel that cold shiver that took over my whole soul, it was like that I fell apart from some huge holy source of somewhere and when I fell on earth… I fell so hard that I could see my wings shredding and burning and I… I couldn't even scream or cry for help…I've been afraid.

Afraid to the point of disbelieving, of not even recognize this being apart of my true home. I just couldn't get myself to believe this fact that I truly hit the ground. That it wasn't a dream. Yes I didn't really know what dream is or how it feels but in all these years that I've been watching humans and seeing they dream pretty much all of their life I could at least say what is dream and what is not so. I was sure as good as I see… it wasn't a dream.

I could barely see upon my head, my siblings, with their wings burning like a fallen star, shining into the night sky, they as well were hitting the ground and then it was silence that spread all around me. They were dying and I couldn't do anything to help them. This pain of seeing my family like this made my heart hurt even more than the fall.

What really happened?

Some normal day in heaven it was. I was in the garrison on my duty, sitting on the wet grass, watching the events on the earth. Cold loving breeze made my skin chill a little bit and the aura of rare and beautiful flowers speared all around me. I was there, doing routine duties. Watching people, their pain, their injustices, their tears that ripped their hearts incautiously… their soul being so dark and covered with rust, pain and sadness. And I've been watching this all of my life, unstoppable, always and forever to the end of the world. Sometimes it was boring, sometimes it made me sad to the point that I cried for them, for what was happening to them but still I had my hope high, that they will die someday and they'll come here. To heaven where it's peace never could compared with their thoughts or dreams.

But still it was hard to actually understand them. That these pathetic, sad and tired beings that sometimes can be barbarian and cruel are my father's favorite. That he send them to earth to live on their own, do anything they want to do, I couldn't get it why?

Of course I didn't question God's plans for them or for any of us. I wasn't simply created for that purpose. I was created for obedience and I had no protest. Being a human was hard. They always had to choose. This or that? Good or bad? This way or that way? They had to choose which way they'll go and how they make their own future, or for the matter of the fact, their own destiny. That was hard. Sometimes they chose wrong way, wrong pattern and then the possibility for them to fall was nevertheless.

But I, with all my strength and abilities, was weak. Me and my kind had no power of choosing destiny. Our superiors told us what to do and all we did was to obey. I didn't want to rebel, I saw what happen to Lucifer when he chose his own way, when he disobeyed father… it was _Fall._ No way back home again, and that was the way he chose. Even imagining the same destiny for myself was horrible. I would never wanted to leave my home, even though I hadn't really meet my father still… I loved him, I knew he was there, always watching us and that's why I didn't disobey him. In some way I chose to stay whatever I was, an obedience, a good soldier. That's what I was. So being a human… having a human life wasn't in my style at all. Tough and scary, I chose heaven and stayed there as a guardian for so long.

Now that I'm falling, deep in this cold water lake, going down and down where I can't even feel myself anymore, it seems that my memory is healing and I can remember those days back in garrison. Things that were insignificant, now are wearing a color that I care that I somehow…miss. If u have asked me before what do u remember of home? I would answer the only thing that I know is being repeated again and again but now… everything is different… it feels different.

Hearing the whisper of my fallen brothers and sisters, makes me feel so weak for not being able to help them when they ask. It's like a death sentence to me… these visions that are passing in front of my eyes… my past. I never experienced this before. This emotion… being scared and helpless. This feel of crying and being so sad of losing my home, this strange feeling inside my heart…feeling of naked hands of death on my skin, trembling. For the first time… I'm feeling alone. This feeling that I've been watching from above all these years. This feelings that was part of a human world and I never wanted to experience it but now it really didn't matter, I couldn't do anything to save myself from this misery.

There is just void and emptiness that has filled my space. I'm barely alive now so maybe that's the time to digging into my head, getting out some memories from my early years in heaven. Funny it's just a face… a familiar, well known face to me. Face of a someone that was different, even in the garrison… he was different and everybody know that.

Back in those days, I was young and curious and sometimes I felt that there is no God, that God had left home and I couldn't even had a chance to meet him. And that was when he came along, more experienced that I ever was and was a hundred or so years older than me but still the curiosity of his was overwhelming. He was my superior there. I've learnt many things from him. Many things he said but the last one… It still waving a big huge flag inside my head. The day before he left heaven for a mission on earth, he whispered something to me.

" maybe you would never get a chance to meet father but know this… he's always there, hears you, maybe he doesn't answer but he will show you the right way. "

Castiel looked me in the eye for the last time, I knew he believed in what he said. But at that time I just couldn't understand, maybe he knew something that it was so soon for me to get. So he left and I got back to my job, watching people from above. But still I had this question on my mind, why would he had to say something like this to me right before he leaves? I still had faith? Hadn't I ? anyhow… he left me there with tons of tons question and haven't come back for so many years.

I don't want to be lost in this, how the silent tears are flowing from my eyes as the lake taking me down inside it's pumping heart like a crying being. I don't want to mourning for my dead soul now, I don't want to be forgotten without leaving a piece behind, I don't want to die so alone. Why now, why today I had to remember what my superior said to me? What was the purpose behind it ? should I call God now… ask him to help me? Would he even listen to me? Is he really there ?

Perhaps I had to give it a chance, calling God from deep down inside of my heart and then… I don't know where or how ? but I kind of felt him. This glowing light inside of the dark water, like the hands of mercy took me… took my broken wings and got me out.

I came out, slowly and nicely, I could feel some unnatural warmness around me and then… I saw my wings healed, some voice whisper to me that I can… that I have to stand tall and do what I can to save my kind.

A smile ran on my face and I was in sky again. And by the time sun was finally rising above the crimson lake for the first time I realized that I've been send to earth for some reason. A mission maybe. So I had to gather my courage and do anything to find Castiel. He could help me to find our siblings to help them and to get them back home.

Where could he be now ? did he know what happened to his kind? has he fallen as well ? I got to find him, my next destination was to find my superior, for sure.


End file.
